Monday, April 30, 2012

Reconciliation


This wretched, terrible truth has experienced two incarnations through Sam. The first, inspired by a song, was a sketch. The second, inspired by the sketch, was a story. Sam makes no apologies for the potentially offensive nature of the story or sketch. You have been warned.
(There seems to be a glitch in Matrix. No matter how the story gets copied down, certain words become underlined and highlighted. This is not part of the work and should be ignored if possible.)

Reconciliation
            Father Lemurty laid the stole over his frail shoulders, taking his place in his fragile chair beside the old confessional screen of the compact booth. It was hot for April; his red vestment clung to his aging frame. Retirement had crossed his mind years ago but his faithful flock needed him. He happily obliged them. With pleasure and satisfaction he watched the children partake in their First Communion—children of men and women he had guided through Catechism decades ago.
            A heavy body entered the chamber opposite him; the door closed softly, further diminishing light around Father Lemurty’s small, bent form. He knew it was a man by the heavy breathing and waited for the penitent to initiate this ancient, exposing transaction. Secretly, it was Father’s favorite sacrament.
            “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been twenty three years and nine days since my last confession,” whispered the voice on the other side of the confessional screen.
            “Kneel, my son,” replied Father, sensing the man was still standing. He was struck not only by the length of time stated but by the precision with which it was relayed. Father licked his dry lips, anticipating the kneeling supplicant.
            The old wooden prie-dieu did not creak under the weight of a body and, after a few awkward seconds, the confessor continued, “I am plagued with the demon of my childhood, Father. He haunts my dreams and eats my soul. I fear I will become him.”
            Father Lemurty gently rubbed his palms on the shiny red cloth of his chasuble, intrigued by this odd prologue and sensing something vaguely familiar in the voice. Something about the way he pronounced words, perhaps. Father probed the supplicant, his curiosity rising, “What have you done, my child?”
            A nervous odor oozed through the veil of confession; Father heard the floor of the closet squeak as the seeker of reconciliation shifted his weight. Father peered at the hanging screen wondering, as he often did, what savory monstrosities it was hiding and would reveal. The screen offered anonymity and the safety of the sacramental seal.
            “He consumes me. Those things he did to me. . . I am dirty. Soiled in a way no water can ever cleanse,” as the confessor spoke, his voice began to resemble a child. Father’s palms began to itch slightly. “I’ve tried so hard over the years. I’ve tried to overcome the monster, but his seed was planted in me. Father,”—oh, the way he whispered that word—“I can’t even make love to my wife anymore. I am physically incapable. And I fear my son is not safe. . .”
            “But what have you done, my son?” asked Father Lemurty, leaning closer, hungry for the unleavened morsel of confession. His palms itched more prominently now for his excitement was coupled with another feeling. A faint expulsion of gas escaped beneath him.
            “Today I will end it, Father,” there it was again, the eerie familiarity with which he whispered certain words. No, not a whisper—he hissed them. “Today I will free myself from the demon. I will feel his blood on my hands.”
            Was it the heat of the day that began to overwhelm Father Lemurty as beads of perspiration formed on his brow? His sweat appeared a coagulating liquid as light reflected off Father’s crimson vestment in the dim aura of the tiny booth. He scratched at his palms uncontrollably as he began to explain, “Dear boy, you cannot confess a sin that has not yet occurred. You must allow yourself to forgive and pray for this man who haunts you. Forgive lest you be one of the unforgiven. Let our Heavenly Father be his judge and do not destroy your self with such terrible deeds. Don’t ruin your life!”
            Silence from beyond the veil. Father perceived the confessional closet empty except himself. The man who refused to kneel had left like a specter. A minute of deafening silence passed when Father inhaled deeply, realizing he had been holding his breath. Father looked to the hanging crucifix on the wall—that epitome of violent absolution—and made the Sign of the Cross as the door yawned open. Standing in the doorway was the monstrous silhouette of a man. Father Lemurty’s nails dug into his palms as the ominous apparition loomed before him. A flash of metal brandished near the angel of death’s waist like the ceremonial blade of an ancient pagan priest, poised for sacrifice. Father finally felt the power of true contrition and clarity as the hiss slithered into Father’s ears with an all too familiar, poisonous caress: “Remember me, Father?”
            Reconciliation.


The following is a sub-par copy of the sketch that was drawn several years ago, which eventually led to the writing of the above story:


None of this terrible truth could have been brought to you without the help of the song that initially inspired it all: "I'm Not Jesus" by Apocalyptica

Sam suggests reading the story one more time, this time with the song playing softly in the background. Let the loving lyrics lull you...

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